Jerry Lee Has Nothing On This Killer

Venue: Killer Burger

Location: 4644 NE Sandy, Portland, OR

Score: 8.3

Price Range: $$$$$

A tiny burger joint with large aspirations of becoming a legendary chain spanning the Americas and bringing burger enlightenment to all the McDonalds heathens.  And by God I think they might do it!  I would put this place in a class right up there with In-N-Out Burger, which has long since gone unanswered by California’s northern neighbor.  Burgerville tries (supporters of local farms and fresh seasonal specials) but they just fall a little short in the delicious department.  Probably the most important feature of this burger place is the inclusion of bacon on EVERY 1/3 pound burger offered, what a simple yet brilliant idea.  I decided on their flagship, peanut-butter-pickle-bacon burger… odd??  Inticing?? Wrong??  It was oh so right!!  The best way to describe this is: a savory, sweet’n’sour, squishy-crunch.  By the time I was done analyzing all the mingling flavors I was nearly done and had to make a concerted effort to slow down and enjoy the rest of the ride.  The “peanut butter” used was a homemade blend that was a bit more of a peanut sauce than a traditional peanut butter but it worked.  The bacon was perfect, and the patty was cooked expertly, with a finishing sear that added a crunch to the outside of the burger and locked in the natural flavors.  The meal finished well with a side of fresh Yukon Gold fries and a local microbrew, delicious!  A final farewell was the board of changing specials, which means I will have to keep coming back to see all the new wonderful concoctions.  Well Killer Burger, you killed it.

Gone to See a Man About a Horse

Venue: Black Iron Burger Shop

Location: 540 E. 5th St., New York, NY

Date of Visit: Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Burger: Iron Horse

Average Score: 5.5 
Price Range: $$$$$

Mike: The Black Iron Burger Shop is one of New York’s higher ranked burger joints; so, when we decided to try it out, I had my reservations while trying to remain optimistic.  After all, New York’s top burgers haven’t fared too well at The Burgerler; I need not be reminded of one Corner Bistro experience.  Black Iron has a variety of signature burgers on their menu, but we came to a consensus on “The Iron Horse,” which comes with two beef patties, horseradish cheddar, grilled onions, lettuce, and tomato atop a toasted sesame seed bun.

            I normally order my burgers medium rare, but because “The Iron Horse” is double stacked and has two layers of cheese, I opted for medium, thinking it might prevent the sandwich from getting too sloppy.  When our burgers arrive to the table, I looked around at my fellow Burgerlers and read on their faces the vary thought that was on my mind, gut bomb!  This thing was glistening in the lamp light with grease from the double patties, ooey-gooey cheese, and grilled onions.  I felt genuine concern for the poor bun; could it actually handle this quantity of grease?  I was also shocked, more disappointed, in the fact that the lettuce was shredded iceberg.  This wasn’t looking good, and I hadn’t even taken my first bite yet; but looks can be deceiving. 

            My first bite revealed that the patties were under-cooked and lacking in flavor.  They were also a bit small for the size of bun they were on, and the bun wasn’t huge.  The amount of meat in both patties could have easily been combined to make a decent sized single patty that would have fit the bun better, with less grease, too.  The sound of horseradish cheddar was enticing when we were ordering; but the cheese had so little flavor, by the time I was halfway through the burger, I had forgotten all about it.  The grilled onions added a bit of flavor, but I rather would have had fresh raw onion instead to add crispness to this monotonous heap.  The bun, oh the bun, it actually survived the onslaught.  Not only did it not dissolve in a pool of grease, it actually had a nice flavor to it.  The bun was probably the best part of the burger, which is not a good sign for a place that is supposed to specialize in burgers.

            Overall, I was disappointed, but amazingly not surprised.  I never like to go into a place expecting to be let down, but I think I knew it in my gut.  Though Black Iron has a number of other burgers on their menu, I don’t expect to be back anytime soon to try them.

Overall Rating: 5.4

Jeff: Upon first sight, this burger looked bad. Two patties, each with cheese, produced an oily glistening sight. I hoped that the cheddar cheese, having horseradish as an ingredient, would cut through the grease; it didn't. The horseradish cheddar had very little zing, if it had any at all. If they're concerned about the horseradish cheese being too strong for patrons then at least provide a side dish of horseradish to be added at one's desire, otherwise what's the point?

             One of the things you'll notice about this burger is its bottom bun, it's huge! It's at least as thick if not thicker than the top bun and for good reason. That extra thickness is going to soak up the grease from the burger while also keeping your hands clean too. The bottom bun is not only purposeful, but it also tastes good, too. I believe it to be a wheat bun, and it's probably the best wheat bun I've had on a burger anywhere. It wasn’t dry; it was fluffy for a wheat bun, yet it had the density that you associate with a wheat bun. It was surprisingly good. That would be as good as it got. The shredded iceberg lettuce was not a winner. Could they not pick a suitable green for such a hearty bun and meat concoction? Then again, a better lettuce would only emphasize the lack of flavor in the meat so the shredded iceberg lettuce is probably the better selection all things considered.

          Presentation-wise, I was hoping the burger would be served in a cast iron skillet. The stainless steel platters, or pewter plated dishes the burger was brought out on just didn't seem right. It's called Black Iron Burger Shop, is it not? A burger and fries served in a cast iron skillet? Yes, that would've been nice.

           I wish there was more to say about this burger, but as great tasting as the bun was, and as good as it was at holding up to the grease and juice, the burger suffered from being flavorless. Sure, I could've shook some salt and pepper onto the top of the mild cheddar patties; but that would've only given me salted-peppered, mild greasy cheese with no zing. 

           I liked the sound of ordering the Iron Horse, "I'll have the Iron Horse." Sadly, I don’t give points for the sound of a burger.

Overall Rating: 5.0

Kenneth: I left work again full of excitement as Mike and I head off to meet Jeff at Black Iron Burger. While in transit, I was constantly saying to myself, "This is going to be a good one, just as all the burger ratings have said it should be."  After the short journey from Brooklyn, we finally arrive at Black Iron Burger in the East Village, hidden close to some of my frequently visited watering holes.  As we entered the restaurant, I noticed it was smaller than I imaged and featured a small beer list with a few I have yet to try.  After looking over the menu, we finally decided on the Iron Horse, a double patty burger topped with shredded lettuce, tomato, and horseradish cheddar on a toasted sesame seed bun.

On paper it sounded like a great idea; but when it arrived, the cheese looked as if it was almost completely cooked off.  Well, there was a thin layer of cheese that appeared to be see through; but, every bite after the first were almost completely devoid of any horseradish flavor.  The meat, on the other hand, packed a good flavor and was pretty juicy; but the double patty was just too much meat in one sitting.  At the end of burger, I felt as if I was hit with a GUT BOMB.  The toasted sesame seed bun seemed to be my favorite part of this burger. It fit the patties perfectly and kept all the juices and grease from ending up on my hands.  The toppings were very fresh, but I did need to add a bit of ketchup.  Did this burger live up to all the hype?  Well... I think I still might need to try some of their smaller burgers; but the Iron Horse seemed to fall a little short.

Rating 6.0

Putnam's

Venue: Putnam's Pub

Location: 419 Myrtle Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Date of Visit: Monday, April 23, 2012

Burger: Lunch Burger

Average Score: 6.4
Price Range: $$$$$

Mike:  Putnam’s Pub is a relatively new addition to the quick thriving neighborhood of Fort Greene in Brooklyn.  It’s a large place, by the area’s standards, with a decent food menu and an even more decent whiskey menu.  Putnam’s serves up three different burgers from three different menus: the Brunch Burger, the Lunch Burger, and the Sirloin Burger at dinner.  We arrived mid-week around noon, hoping to sample the Brunch Burger, which comes with a sunny farm egg, applewood bacon, and American cheese.  They must only serve brunch on the weekends because we had no choice but to opt for the Lunch Burger instead.

            The Lunch Burger is pretty much the same burger as that of the brunch variety; only it comes without the egg.  I should also point out that romaine lettuce, tomato, and fried onions come standard on their burgers as well.  As I normally do, I ordered my burger medium-rare; to my displeasure, it arrived just a tad past medium.  Perhaps this would account for the lack of flavor and considerable dryness of the meat.  Additionally, the size of the patty was not proportionate to that of the bun.  No one likes their last bite of a burger to be only bun; however, it happens and we move on.  But, the last two bites?  Don’t get me wrong, the bun was tasty, fresh, and held up its integrity throughout consumption; but, it’s a burger, where’s the beef?!   

The toppings were the saviors of this down spiraling sandwich.  The romaine and tomato were both fresh, adding a cool crispness and a bit of moisture to the arid mound of beef.  The fried onions and applewood bacon rescued this burger from a flavorless pit of despair while adding the perfect amount of crunch to complement the other textures held within.  The American cheese added very little, if anything, to this burger.  American cheese is like vanilla ice cream or white bread; it lacks enthusiasm and imagination.  If you put cheese on a burger, make it something with some flavor.

Overall, the Putnam’s Pub Lunch Burger fell way short of my expectations.  If it weren’t for the toppings, I might have deemed it not worth writing about.  This is a case that confirms my suspicions about bacon on burgers; its a sure-fire coverup.  After all, bacon does make everything taste better.  I wonder if the egg would have improved this burger much, as with the Brunch Burger.  I really have no desire to find out.

Overall Rating: 6.4

Kenneth: This isn’t my first time trying one of Putnam’s burgers; but this is the first time trying their lunch burger.  They serve different burgers depending on the time of the day or day of the week it is.   On the weekends, there is the Brunch Burger at lunch, during the evenings there is the Dinner burger, and during lunch, so creatively named, there is the Lunch Burger.  The Lunch Burger is by far the simplest of the three burgers, which is served with applewood smoked bacon, American cheese, and fried onions and comes with either a salad or fries.  Oh, I forgot there is one more bonus; there is the beer and lunch burger deal for an extra two dollars.

On this day, I ordered my burger medium with French fries.  When the burger arrived, its presentation made my mouth water; that is, until I bit into it and found it had been slightly over cooked.  Within that first bite, there were a lot of different flavors and textures, mostly coming from the toppings, particularly the applewood bacon and the fried onions.  The patty on the other hand, was juicy but lacked its own unique flavor; and as much as I like American cheese, it did nothing for the patty’s flavor.  Overall, it satisfied my hunger, but the lunch burger didn’t do much for my palette.  I wouldn’t mind trying the dinner burger, which has avocado and dill pickles, and brunch burger, which has a fried egg.  

Rating 6.9

Jeff: The decor of Putnam’s is nice. It has a rustic, old time bar type feel that’s bright and airy, with out door seating albeit Myrtle avenue. Myrtle is somewhat in a state of limbo. Running along Fort Greene Park, Myrtle spans new high-rise condos, public housing, 99 cent stores, a few eateries of varying quality, your typical New York Chinese take out places, Pratt Institute, and car services that may or may not be in business.

          I ordered Putnam’s Lunch burger medium rare. Upon arrival it looked appetizing, but upon eating, it too seemed to be in limbo. While the bun was tasty, really tasty actually, I wasn’t feeling the American cheese. I'm not a fan of American cheese. Regardless of the Kraft singles commercials with smiling kids, I will never like it. Restaurants or pubs of this type may feel like they're bringing a sense of home to their customers when they place it on burgers, but they're doing their customers a dis-service. They should stop it. A decent cheddar cheese would have been great with the bun and bacon. The folded strips of bacon were pretty good. A little too good because they provided more flavor than the beef they were adorning. Speaking of beef, my patty was unevenly cooked. It was a thick patty, not Dumont thick, but thick. There were maybe four other people dining when I arrived. Why my patty was prepared unevenly I don’t know, especially because it took a while for it to come out. I don't even think it was seasoned with salt or pepper. It was bland. The tomatoes were fresh and tasted good, and the shredded fried onions were really good, but that put me at odds with the burger even further. What, no pickle spear either? What a ho-hum experience. 

          I’m surprised really. I’ve ridden past this place numerous times and seen it packed. Maybe its packed for the bar libations.

Overall Rating: 5.9

New or Old, Who Cares?

New Old Lompoc

1616 NW 23^rd Ave

Portland, OR 97210

Score: 3.5

Price Range: $$$$$

Tom: The New Old Lompoc is a long-standing Portland institution, beloved by many, but not all. Recently it has closed for construction and is planning a grand re-opening in the summer of 2013.  In my opinion, the property value increased drastically the second the wrecking ball hit.  I have visited this pub a number of times due to the number of friends who enjoy the grimy building with plumbing and electricity from the 1800’s, the epic amount of time spent waiting to order and finally, the surly wait staff.  With my jaw set, I ordered the Lompoc Burger, determined to put all of our history behind me and give a fair review.  My heart sank a bit as I realized the Lompoc Burger was nothing more than a 1/2lb patty with lettuce, tomato, red onion, and herb mayo with the chance to add cheese for $0.75 and bacon for $1.25.  If you are serving a hamburger, why do you feel the need to rename it?  Or if you are going to rename a simple hamburger wouldn’t it make sense to put your patent spin on it?  No such forward thinking was present, but I was not going to let that mar my review of the cuisine.  Well roughly 1 hour later my “Lompoc Burger” arrived with congealed, sweating cheddar cheese on a soggy mountain of overly fishy Caesar salad with 3 croutons and 1 pepperoncini.  The bacon was overcooked and somehow fibrous and the bun was uncooked and dry.  The meat however was quite good (grass fed, hormone & antibiotic free, Angus ground chuck), good work there I guess.  And finally the wait staff was surly.  If you feel like paying $10 to annoy a waitress for a couple hours to get damp food then the New Old Lompoc is the place for you!

Soggy Bottom Burger

Venue: Two 8 Two Bar & Burger

Location: 282 Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Date of Visit: Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Burger: "Pub" Burger

Average Score: 5.9
Price Range: $$$$$

Mike: Two8Two Bar & Burger is an anomalous little establishment that rests at the nexus between childhood naiveté and the harsh realities of adulthood.  One of the key elements that link these two generations is an undying love for the hamburger.  Two8Two is one of the only places I can be seated at a table, enjoying a burger, and look to my right to find a grown man at the bar, nursing his beer; then look to my left to find a child’s birthday party and their mother nursing an infant.  But, we weren’t there to write about Two8Two’s identity crisis; we were there about a burger.

            We ordered their “Pub” Burger, which is a nine ounce hamburger with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, bacon, and two8two sauce.  As our burgers arrived at our table, I immediately noticed two very important shortcomings: it was barren of the standard accoutrements such as lettuce and tomato, and it sat atop your conventional, humdrum, supermarket special bun.  Where’s the imagination Two8Two Bar & Burger?  You’re supposed to be a burger haven; burger is in your name, enlighten me!  Though, I must praise them on the patty-to-bun ratio; it was spot-on.  Only after I gripped the burger for my first bite did I truly become aware of the difficulties this burger was going to present me with. 

            As I bit down, I could feel the grease seeping into the lower half of the bun as if it were a sponge.  But it’s a cheap sponge that can’t handle the mess you have to clean up.  It is then that I noticed my burger was over-done; but I can’t even fathom what kind of moisture levels I would have been dealing with if it were actually cooked medium rare, as ordered.  The meat and grilled onions made for a flavorful combination and the bacon provided a nice crunch to break up the monotony of the textures.  The cheese tasted like a medium cheddar and its presence was there; but, the “two8two sauce” came and went as I worked my way through the fray.  As I passed the half-way point, I thought to myself how refreshing some crisp leaves of romaine and a fresh tomato slice would improve this experience.  Returning from my thoughts, I looked down at my burger; yep, the bottom of the bun was lost, destroyed.

            Overall, the “Pub” Burger was rather ordinary.  Had I known that I had to specify to the wait staff that I wanted lettuce and tomato, the burger likely would have been better, but I can’t speculate as to what extent.  And, I’m not particularly interested in returning anytime soon to find out.

Overall Rating: 6.0

Kenneth: What’s the worst thing that could happen when eating a burger?  The bun completely disappears from your hands and you’re holding the patty in the palm of your hand.  At Two8Two Bar and Burger, I feared this with every bite as my finger became closer and closer to the patty. 

Having ventured to Two8Two before, I knew that I was unable to eat their signature burger, which is topped with roasted poblano chiles, cheddar cheese, and two8two sauce.  So I went for the “Pub” Burger, a nine ounce hamburger topped with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, bacon, and of course, the two8two sauce.  The “Pub” Burger was served open faced on a small plate without any of the average toppings. We later found out, if you want lettuce, tomatoes, and pickles you have to let the wait staff know when you order.  This disclaimer should be on the menu.  The bun appeared average in appearance and after the first bite my initial thoughts were 100% confirmed, this is an average backyard hamburger bun.  However, the size of the meat compared to the size of the bun was spot on; except, the bun could not handle the grease from this 9 oz. hamburger over the long haul.  The hamburger patty had a good flavor and it blossomed when paired with the two8two sauce.  As usual the bacon was a good addition to this burger; it added a different mixture of flavors and textures.  The bun aside, this would be a solid burger if they can figure a way to eliminate most of the grease.

            I love the onion rings and the nachos!  However, I don’t think I will order the “Pub” Burger again for some time, but I would opt for one of their smaller burgers. 

Overall Rating 6.5


Jeff:  I'm always wary of businesses that list their numbered street address as their business name. The only thing worse in my opinion are places like Video Land for movie rentals. When it came time to visit Two8Two, my stomach growled, but I remained optimistic for the sake of this visit.

         I switched things up this time and ordered their Pub Burger medium instead of medium rare. Upon arrival, the burger stood center on the plate. I understand that when a portion of fries is large enough for two or more people to share that they get their own plate, but restaurants need to consider the presentation of a single burger on a plate without garnishes; it's not pleasng to the eye.

             Upon handling my burger, I noticed that the bun was indeed toasted but was very soft, too soft. We're talking Wonder Bread refined flour soft. I wasn't expecting a bun of this type here at first, but then I gave a closer look. The atmosphere of this place made me feel like I was at a sub-standard, suburban strip mall. A little bit Red Robin, a little Chili's, with a dash of some Ikea-ish trimmed decor. The music didn't help either. In an age of Pandora and Spotify, there's no reason for a restaurant to play the equivalent of music for high wasted jeaned mothers and XL polo shirt wearing fathers, even though they were in attendance. Excuse me; I apologize for going off track. My first bite produced a lot of grease. Some people refer to grease when a burger isn't good versus juicy. What's the difference? Juice is within the patty. Yes it is produced from the cooked fat and meat of the patty but it can quickly turn to a greasy burger when the fat content of the patty is greatter than that of the meat. This was one greasy burger. Did I mention that my patty fell apart? Oh yeah, crumbled actually. How does that happen? It's not an over cooked meatloaf, its a burger.

The Two8Two sauce that’s placed on the burger is mildly prevalent at first but it faded as I ate. It really didn’t taste like anything more than a modified mayonnaise and liquid smoke concoction, with some French dressing, maybe. Had its intensity remained, it might have been nice, but I suspect the grease was too much. The bacon on this burger only compounded this grease-fest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a juicy burger, but I just wasn’t expecting this. It sounded good on paper with the 9oz patty, cheddar, bacon and grilled onions; but, it just wasn’t coming together for me. The grilled onions were good at first but the grease of the burger consumed them, too. I nearly forgot about the cheese that was ordered with it. It definitely wasn't a sharp cheddar cheese, that's for sure. If anything, the cheddar they list must be mild or medium. Either way the cheese lacked umph.

           Overall, it's a meaty burger. The patty is thick but all of the grease overwhelmed everything else; and nothing stood out as far as flavor goes. They really should give you Bounty paper towels to eat this with. My napkin was destroyed.

Overall rating: 5.3

Screen Door to Burger Heaven

Venue: Screen Door

Location: 2337 E. Burnside St., Portland, OR

Score: 9.4
Price Range: $$$$$

Tom: One may easily find the Screen Door restaurant, located in NE Portland, by the colorful line of hungry patrons willing to stand for over an hour in the cold and wet that makes up the majority of Oregon weather, to briefly partake in the savory-sweet celebration of southern cuisine.  The Screen Door serves local and organic produce and meats everyday which is an added bit of environmental, and fiscally intelligent, flavor that tips this burger into the ranks of legend. The Screen Door’s menu is “a survey of the south, from South Carolina Low-country cuisine to soul food and Cajun one-pot cookery to the refined Creole and French preparations found in New Orleans.”  But, I was here for one item… the burger.  Some may rate it as too big, at a whopping 8” tall, and others too greasy—thank you pimiento cheese (Holy $#!† it’s good!)  But for me, the failing was the inability to capture this majesty on film.  The patty was a 10 oz. cut of Cascade Natural ground sirloin cooked to mid-rare, fresh butter lettuce, onion, a touch of mayo and a homemade pickle with the option of adding bacon, fried egg, crispy fried onions, and pimiento cheese… of which I added all culminating in a perfect blend of squish and crunch!  The two standouts to this burger were the crispy fried onions that had a wonderful pepper seasoning that helped cut the richness of the burger and the pimiento cheese (3^rd time I have mentioned this!).  For those of you readers who have never experienced pimiento cheese, I strongly recommend calling all of your local diners and dives looking for it.  This staple from the South is a blend of sharp cheddar cheese, mayonnaise, pimientos, salt, and pepper.  But chefs will typically put their spin on it, adding a variety of delicious ingredients such as cream cheese, Louisiana-style hot sauce, Worcestershire sauce, cayenne pepper, paprika, jalapeños, onions, garlic, or dill pickles all blended into a mouth-watering chunky golden paste.  If you find yourself in the NE Burnside neighborhood of Portland, make sure to plan a few extra hours for a delectable trip to scrumptious paradise.