Soggy Bottom Burger

Venue: Two 8 Two Bar & Burger

Location: 282 Atlantic Ave., Brooklyn, NY

Date of Visit: Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Burger: "Pub" Burger

Average Score: 5.9
Price Range: $$$$$

Mike: Two8Two Bar & Burger is an anomalous little establishment that rests at the nexus between childhood naiveté and the harsh realities of adulthood.  One of the key elements that link these two generations is an undying love for the hamburger.  Two8Two is one of the only places I can be seated at a table, enjoying a burger, and look to my right to find a grown man at the bar, nursing his beer; then look to my left to find a child’s birthday party and their mother nursing an infant.  But, we weren’t there to write about Two8Two’s identity crisis; we were there about a burger.

            We ordered their “Pub” Burger, which is a nine ounce hamburger with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, bacon, and two8two sauce.  As our burgers arrived at our table, I immediately noticed two very important shortcomings: it was barren of the standard accoutrements such as lettuce and tomato, and it sat atop your conventional, humdrum, supermarket special bun.  Where’s the imagination Two8Two Bar & Burger?  You’re supposed to be a burger haven; burger is in your name, enlighten me!  Though, I must praise them on the patty-to-bun ratio; it was spot-on.  Only after I gripped the burger for my first bite did I truly become aware of the difficulties this burger was going to present me with. 

            As I bit down, I could feel the grease seeping into the lower half of the bun as if it were a sponge.  But it’s a cheap sponge that can’t handle the mess you have to clean up.  It is then that I noticed my burger was over-done; but I can’t even fathom what kind of moisture levels I would have been dealing with if it were actually cooked medium rare, as ordered.  The meat and grilled onions made for a flavorful combination and the bacon provided a nice crunch to break up the monotony of the textures.  The cheese tasted like a medium cheddar and its presence was there; but, the “two8two sauce” came and went as I worked my way through the fray.  As I passed the half-way point, I thought to myself how refreshing some crisp leaves of romaine and a fresh tomato slice would improve this experience.  Returning from my thoughts, I looked down at my burger; yep, the bottom of the bun was lost, destroyed.

            Overall, the “Pub” Burger was rather ordinary.  Had I known that I had to specify to the wait staff that I wanted lettuce and tomato, the burger likely would have been better, but I can’t speculate as to what extent.  And, I’m not particularly interested in returning anytime soon to find out.

Overall Rating: 6.0

Kenneth: What’s the worst thing that could happen when eating a burger?  The bun completely disappears from your hands and you’re holding the patty in the palm of your hand.  At Two8Two Bar and Burger, I feared this with every bite as my finger became closer and closer to the patty. 

Having ventured to Two8Two before, I knew that I was unable to eat their signature burger, which is topped with roasted poblano chiles, cheddar cheese, and two8two sauce.  So I went for the “Pub” Burger, a nine ounce hamburger topped with grilled onions, cheddar cheese, bacon, and of course, the two8two sauce.  The “Pub” Burger was served open faced on a small plate without any of the average toppings. We later found out, if you want lettuce, tomatoes, and pickles you have to let the wait staff know when you order.  This disclaimer should be on the menu.  The bun appeared average in appearance and after the first bite my initial thoughts were 100% confirmed, this is an average backyard hamburger bun.  However, the size of the meat compared to the size of the bun was spot on; except, the bun could not handle the grease from this 9 oz. hamburger over the long haul.  The hamburger patty had a good flavor and it blossomed when paired with the two8two sauce.  As usual the bacon was a good addition to this burger; it added a different mixture of flavors and textures.  The bun aside, this would be a solid burger if they can figure a way to eliminate most of the grease.

            I love the onion rings and the nachos!  However, I don’t think I will order the “Pub” Burger again for some time, but I would opt for one of their smaller burgers. 

Overall Rating 6.5


Jeff:  I'm always wary of businesses that list their numbered street address as their business name. The only thing worse in my opinion are places like Video Land for movie rentals. When it came time to visit Two8Two, my stomach growled, but I remained optimistic for the sake of this visit.

         I switched things up this time and ordered their Pub Burger medium instead of medium rare. Upon arrival, the burger stood center on the plate. I understand that when a portion of fries is large enough for two or more people to share that they get their own plate, but restaurants need to consider the presentation of a single burger on a plate without garnishes; it's not pleasng to the eye.

             Upon handling my burger, I noticed that the bun was indeed toasted but was very soft, too soft. We're talking Wonder Bread refined flour soft. I wasn't expecting a bun of this type here at first, but then I gave a closer look. The atmosphere of this place made me feel like I was at a sub-standard, suburban strip mall. A little bit Red Robin, a little Chili's, with a dash of some Ikea-ish trimmed decor. The music didn't help either. In an age of Pandora and Spotify, there's no reason for a restaurant to play the equivalent of music for high wasted jeaned mothers and XL polo shirt wearing fathers, even though they were in attendance. Excuse me; I apologize for going off track. My first bite produced a lot of grease. Some people refer to grease when a burger isn't good versus juicy. What's the difference? Juice is within the patty. Yes it is produced from the cooked fat and meat of the patty but it can quickly turn to a greasy burger when the fat content of the patty is greatter than that of the meat. This was one greasy burger. Did I mention that my patty fell apart? Oh yeah, crumbled actually. How does that happen? It's not an over cooked meatloaf, its a burger.

The Two8Two sauce that’s placed on the burger is mildly prevalent at first but it faded as I ate. It really didn’t taste like anything more than a modified mayonnaise and liquid smoke concoction, with some French dressing, maybe. Had its intensity remained, it might have been nice, but I suspect the grease was too much. The bacon on this burger only compounded this grease-fest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a juicy burger, but I just wasn’t expecting this. It sounded good on paper with the 9oz patty, cheddar, bacon and grilled onions; but, it just wasn’t coming together for me. The grilled onions were good at first but the grease of the burger consumed them, too. I nearly forgot about the cheese that was ordered with it. It definitely wasn't a sharp cheddar cheese, that's for sure. If anything, the cheddar they list must be mild or medium. Either way the cheese lacked umph.

           Overall, it's a meaty burger. The patty is thick but all of the grease overwhelmed everything else; and nothing stood out as far as flavor goes. They really should give you Bounty paper towels to eat this with. My napkin was destroyed.

Overall rating: 5.3